Friendships end, it’s okay.
The task of having to get over a breakup is as daunting enough already as it is. But the task of having to get over a breakup with a person who was once your best friend is seemingly almost downright impossible. It doesn’t become an issue of having to get over someone you were once in a relationship with anymore. It becomes an issue of having to get over the fact that you lost your best friend.
Not all relationships are created equal and everybody knows this. There are some relationships that are just doomed from the start. These are the couples who you know just don’t have anything better to do with their lives and so they try to experiment with something that is flawed to begin with. Then there are those relationships that are okay; they’re steady but they’re boring. They would make great partners, but they aren’t necessarily excited at the thought of being in love with one another. Then there are those couples who are crazily passionate about each other; but due to circumstances beyond their control, they just can’t manage to keep their relationship together. And lastly, there are those couples who just seem to mesh well together. They are like two peas in a pod. They are team mates who are willing to face the world while holding each other’s hands. They are best friends but even best friends are not immune to breakups.
You used to love spending all of your time together. You used to have conversations that would last you until the wee hours of the morning. You always used to laugh a lot whenever you spent your time with one another. You used to go on vast explorations and adventures; immersing yourselves in unfamiliar territory. From the outside looking in, everyone thought that you were a beacon of hope for all couples out there. You were living proof that love was alive and kicking in this world.
And yet, your relationship ended. Despite everything, you still couldn’t manage to make things work, and so now you are left to go your separate ways. It’s devastating. It’s heartbreaking. It’s difficult. But you’re going to have to muster up the courage to face the world again. You know that you need to find the strength to pick yourself up and get over the breakup. You need to eventually be brave enough to come to terms with the fact that you have just lost your best friend. As impossible as that may seem, here are a few tips that can maybe help you through this difficult process:
1. Take this opportunity to spend more quality time with yourself.
You were in a relationship with someone for so long. You had to share so much of yourself to this person. Now that you’ve broken up, allow yourself to be selfish for a while. Just spend more time being alone and do things that you want to do for yourself.
2. Accept and respect the untimely demise of your relationship.
Come to terms with it. If it was your ex who broke up with you, respect their decision. If it was you who decided to end things, then own up to it. You won’t find any joy in trying to convince yourselves to make things work again.
3. Stop focusing on just the positives and try to look at the negatives of the relationship too.
You can get too caught up thinking about all the good times you used to have together, you might end up forgetting about the bad times. Be realistic about the situation and don’t try to romanticize your failed relationship.
4. Spend time with your other friends.
You have other friends. You have other people who also care about you and love you deeply. You have other people in your life who want you to be happy. You can always choose to lean on these people whenever times get rough. You can always rely on them to be there for you when you’re feeling vulnerable.
5. Drown yourself in old or new hobbies.
Distract yourself with your hobbies. Focus on developing your individual skills and talents. Channel all of your love and passion into your hobbies. You would be surprised at just how therapeutic it can be to be engaged in a hobby that you’re good at.
6. Stay away from social media.
Don’t stalk your ex on social media. You are only feeding your own personal heartbreak by doing so. Maintain discipline and stay strong.
7. Ensure that any mutual friends you may have together know that it’s over.
Of course, you are going to have your share of mutual friends. So as to clear up the confusion, it would be best for you to come clean about the situation that you have found yourself in. Let them know that your relationship has ended and it will help you come to terms with the reality of the situation too.