Do NOT ignore these red flags!
It doesn’t even matter what kind of relationship that you’re in. No kind of relationship is immune to this. Whether you are it’s a relationship with your romantic partner, friend, boss, parents, sibling, or anyone else really. You are always susceptible to being used by someone if you allow them to just walk all over you. It’s okay to do a few favors for a person a few times, but when it starts becoming a regular thing, then you really have to reconsider the situation that you’re in. In any healthy relationship, you should always be getting just as much as you’re giving. That’s called balance. Balance is always essential in maintaining healthy ties with another person. When you do things for your boss, you are compensated financially.
When you do things for your family, you expect them to be there for you when you need them. When you do things for your romantic partner, they should also be willing to run some errands for you every once in a while. If there are substantial imbalances in these exchanges of service, then you have to consider the possibility that you are just being used. You always have a cause for suspicion if your romantic partner only ever messages you when they are in need of something or if they are looking for some sexual favors. You should also be skeptical of when your boss asks you to do extra work unnecessarily even though you already did everything that was expected of you originally.
These people are called users and you need to do either one of two things in these scenarios: call them out on their bad habits or walk away from them entirely. You have to stop compromising your own needs for the sake of others especially when you know that you’re not getting anything healthy out of it. You need to be able to just put your foot down and stand up for yourself. You can’t allow yourself to always be picking up after everyone else because you might end up neglecting all the things that you need to be doing for yourself. So how do you know when someone is using and abusing you? Here are some signs that could give you some reassurance.
1. You always feel uncomfortable whenever you’re around them.
The discomfort that you’re feeling when you’re around this person is a direct result of your anxiety. You are always anxious that this person is going to ask something from you again as they always do. You have grown to expect these favors and you don’t like it.
2. You are afraid to say no to them.
That’s how they maneuver themselves into your psyche. They will somehow find a way to always make you afraid of saying no to them. They will do it in a subtle way. They will try to drop hints at how your refusal to help them out will be bad for you and for the relationship.
3. You notice that they are only nice to you when they want something.
The ultimate sign of a user is someone who is only nice to you whenever they want something out of their niceness. Otherwise, when they’re all fine and dandy, they would never pay you any mind because they’re already happy with where they are.
4. You feel guilty whenever you can’t do something for them.
This is another work of psychological magic that they are exceptionally skilled at. They are very good at making you feel guilty about not being able to do something for them. They do this so that they have a way to make compel you to always do favors for them.
5. You are going to grow to slightly resent this person.
Resentment is always a natural byproduct of being used and abused by another person. If you feel a slight resentment growing inside of you for a person, then it might be because this person is constantly disrespecting your character and dignity. You should never ever let a person treat you like some sort of tool or object.
6. You will feel like your needs are never being meet.
While you are too busy trying to meet the needs of others, you end up losing valuable time to take care of yourself. And so your needs never end up being met.
7. You always see that person getting ahead while you’re left behind.
It’s normal for people to be getting ahead of you in life. But it seems weird for people who don’t work as hard as you to be the ones who are getting ahead. That may be a sign that these people are directly benefiting off of your hard work.
8. You are never on the receiving end of the favors.
Lastly, if you are never on the receiving end of favors, then you know you are just being used. There is an imbalance in your relationship and you can’t ignore it any further.